Assignment #11

December 15, 2011

Santa

Chairperson

North Pole Toy Factory Inc.

North Pole, H0H 0H0

Dear Santa,

It is the holiday season once again, and to my distaste I must write you this letter. Now, instead of listing out all the reasons why you should deliver me presents, how about you simply make it easier for both of us and just give me what I want; it would save a lot of trouble. I haven’t really been that naughty this year… have I? I study for “most” of my classes and “mostly” pay attention in class. All I want is an A in English for Christmas and that is good enough for me.

BYE SANTA

Assignment #10

Cell Phones, Today

Maclean’s magazine article “Public display of disaffection” discusses the controversial use of cell phones at inappropriate times through statistics and the opinion of professionals. The article begins with the idea of a “social-media age,” which in present day means that cell phones can be used almost at any time such as when talking to another person or texting while at an official event. The article questions: is it proper etiquette to use cell phones in these types of situations? In the opinion of Pamela Eyring, director of the Protocol School of Washington, it is rude, period. She has identified the “four stages of BlackBerry abandonment,” which are: confusion, discomfort, irritation and outrage. Another interesting statistic is that ten percent of people under the age of twenty-five didn’t see anything wrong with texting during sex. It is clear by the article that the new “social-media generation” has a problem with cell phones and the statistics show it.

Many people would completely agree with the author’s message in the article “Public display of disaffection” in Maclean’s magazine. It is extremely disrespectful to use cell phones in any type of face-to-face social situation, as well as in any sort of public hearing or event. The statistics are clear, however, and many people would believe that they are absolutely absurd. If ten percent of our generation think that it is okay to text during sex it they definitely need to wake up and re-think about our stance on cell phone use. It is embarrassing to be a part of this generation if that is how people that age think. There needs to be some reformation on how cell phones are used in public and maybe even some sort of regulation or rule about texting. Everyone needs to stop thinking about our cell phones and put our mind towards making it unacceptable to text during inappropriate times.

Assignment #9

Ultimatum

(ABBA Rhyme Scheme)

My friends die and they go to hell
     I feel no remorse, no pity
          Others think my methods gritty
               In the abyss they shall dwell

               In my dreams I hear them yell
          Their screams and calls haunt my soul
     I hope I finally reach my goal
Meanwhile, down the well they go

The woman in front of me in the line
     My newest victim caught my eye
          From my hand surely she will die
               If I wanted I could even snap her spine

               The deed is done, her life forsaken
          My latest sacrifice feels relieving
     No doubt her family will be grieving
From her remains I made some bacon

The voices have ceased to command
     It feels like a burden has been lifted
          Perhaps I have finally been gifted
               I now have my own funeral planned

Assignment #8

     Alice Major, the author of "Puce Fairy Book" would most likely agree with the advice that June Callwood gives to her granddaughters in "Forget Prince Charming". The two pieces of literature talk about the same thing; the expectations of each person in a relationship. Although each of the pieces have a somewhat different way of presenting their message, the idea is mostly the same.


     "Puce Fairy Book" is a brief poem written by Alice Major that includes many different allusions to modern fairy tales and presents them in a way that would make it seem that the speaker has a difficult time with relationships. There are several examples of this in the poem, including "You wanted Rapunzel waiting in a tower, braids of hair like ropes, stairs that only you could climb," and then the speaker says, "My hair would never grow long enough". From these allusions it seems like the speaker is already in some kind of relationship but is struggling to keep it going because of the burdens and expectations placed upon her. The poem ends with the lines "You might have been the one true prince, but on mature consideration, I declined, with thanks, the honour of cutting off my toe". The last lines of the poem could mean that there was a "true prince" that was in love with her but she said no because she didn't want to cater to the responsibility of a relationship.


     "Forget Prince Charming" is a story written by June Callwood which discusses the nature of relationships in the way of giving advice to her three granddaughters. Some of the advice that she provides to her granddaughters are "They cannot expect perfection," and "All long-term couplings survive on a mutual ability to compromise". There is also mention of a doctor's advice, child psychologist William Blatz, which suggested that the secret a long and successful marriage is teamwork; "I make the dressing and she makes the salad," he said. The grandmother writes that she has always told her grandchildren that if they want a successful marriage they have to find the perfect mate; which she then goes on to admit that she is wrong and perfect mates only exist in fairy tales and romantic novels. According to the grandmother who has been happily married for almost fifty-seven years, the best traits that a good mate should have are: integrity, punctuality and humor.


     The two pieces of literature, "Puce Fairy Book" and "Forget Price Charming" are similar in both message and idea. Their message is basically, "don't expect to find the perfect mate". Their are several ways that the authors emphasize this message. In "Puce Fairy Book" the speaker humorously connects fairy tales to her own life and at the end she rejects her so called "one true prince" because she is convinced that there is no "perfect" mate. "Forget Price Charming" conveys the idea through the grandmother's thoughts towards her three daughters, always reminding them and giving them relationship advice which actually means something since the grandmother has been married for almost fifty-seven years. Alice Major would definitely agree with the advice that June Callwood gives to her daughters. The poem and story both have powerful and deep meanings which are related to the idea of the perfect mate.

Assignment #7

No woman, no cry (Repeat 4 times)

Said said
Said I remember when we used to sit
In the government yard in Trenchtown
Oba, ob-serving the hypocrites
As they would mingle with the good people we meet
Good friends we have had, oh good friends we've lost along the way
In this bright future you can't forget your past
So dry your tears I say

No woman, no cry
No woman, no cry
Oh my Little sister, don't she'd no tears
No woman, no cry

Said, said, said I remember when we used to sit
In the government yard in Trenchtown
And then Georgie would make the fire light
Log wood burnin' through the night
Then we would cook corn meal porridge
Of which I'll share with you

My feet is my only carriage
So I've got to push on through
But while I'm gone...

Everything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright
Ev'rything's gonna be alright

No woman, no cry
No, no woman, no woman, no cry
Oh, little sister, don't she'd no tears
No woman, no cry

No woman, no woman, no woman, no cry
No woman, no cry
Oh, my little darlyn no she'd no tears
No woman, no cry, yeah
any sister no she'd no tears, no women no cry


No woman no cry, no woman no cry
No woman no cry, no woman no cry

Say, say, said I remember when we used to sit
In a government yard in Trenchtown
Obba, obba, serving the hypocrites
As the would mingle with the good people we meet
Good friends we have, oh, good friends we've lost
Along the way
In this great future,
You can't forget your past
So dry your tears, I say

No woman no cry, no woman no cry
Little darling, don't she'd no tears, no woman no cry
Say, say, said I remember when we used to sit
In the government yard in Trenchtown
And then Georgie would make the fire light
As it was, love would burn on through the night
Then we would cook cornmeal porridge
Of which I'll share with you
My fear is my only courage
So I've got to push on thru
Oh, while I'm gone

Everything 's gonna be alright, everything 's gonna be alright
Everything 's gonna be alright, everything 's gonna be alright
Everything 's gonna be alright, everything 's gonna be alright
Everything 's gonna be alright, everything 's gonna be alright
So woman no cry, no, no woman no cry
Oh, my little sister
Don't she'd no tears
No woman no cry
I remember when we use to sit
In the government yard in Trenchtown
And then Georgie would make the fire lights
As it was, log would burnin' through the nights
Then we would cook cornmeal porridge
Of which I'll share with you
My fear is my only courage
So I've got to push on thru
Oh, while I'm gone
No woman no cry, no, no woman no cry
Oh, my little darlin'
Don't she'd no tears
No woman no cry, No woman no cry

Oh my Little darlin', don't she'd no tears
No woman no cry
Little sister, don't she'd no tears
No woman no cry

=====================================================

The song, "No Woman, No Cry" by Bob Marley has a lot of deep meaning and poetic devices. This particular song is based upon Bob Marley's own experiences growing up in the ghettos of Jamaica. The line "Obba, obba, serving the hypocrites" alludes to the oppressive government that that people of Jamaica had to live with. The "log burnin through the nights" symbolizes the hope that people living in the ghettos had to have in order to survive. "In this bright future you can't forget your past" is ironic because no matter who you are or what your future is, there is always a negative thing that has happened in your past. Imagery is an effective part of the song and illustrates some of the hardships that many people had to live with in the ghettos, as is described in these lines: "And then Georgie would make the fire light, Log wood burnin' through the night, Then we would cook cornmeal porridge." A good example of figurative language is "My feet is my only carriage" because obviously the line is not meant to be taken in a literal way; it means that he had no method of transportation besides walking everywhere. The mood of the song is mostly positive and filled with hope but sometimes negative because of all the tribulation that they all had to endure. "No Woman, No Cry" is not only a song packed full with meaning and significance, it is also has a great rhythm and melody which only adds to its context.

Assignment #6 - Effective Imagery

     The old and disgusting hag emerged from the darkness of the night, lighting up a revolting cigarette obviously scavenged from the dumpster nearby. Her old and worn face told a story of its own, wrinkles and leathery-like skin painted a picture of her past. The street on which she lived on, the dirty back alley behind the local liquor store, was a perfect place for her and had everything she needed. She hobbled along, cigarette in one hand, cane in the other. Decrepit and tattered robes is what she wore, along with a head-wrap to keep her warm for the coming winter. The scars were a constant reminder of her major drug use throughout the years. She had no family, no one to take care of her, or anyone that would miss her when she reached her inevitable end. The few memories that she had left were fuzzy and incomplete, like a nearly blind person trying to see without glasses, the only thing she remembered clearly is her childhood from times long passed. The English that she spoke was broken and often didn't make sense, her insane ramblings about "the world coming to an end" took over her decaying sanity; she didn't have much time left.

Assignment #5 - College Application

     I am one the most important and unique people in the world. At first glace, however, you may disagree, and in that case you would be completely and utterly incorrect. Many people would define me as a daredevil, completely insane and an avid writer of poetry. I think that everyone else is weak and cowardly. I once bought something from Walmart at half price. One of my more impressive accomplishments is my recent visit to the bottom of the Mariana Trench, a dangerous and costly endeavour; for me although, it was nothing but a couple hours taken out of my Sunday afternoon.

     A great hobby of mine is catching sharks with my bare hands, an easy task but impressive considering that all you are is a college application reviewer. Some of the activities I do in my spare time include biking to the top of Mount Everest, building orphanages in poor countries and turning water into wine. I sucessfully drew a picture of an elephant climbing a ladder. Once I had the great pleasure to assist Superman in foiling Lex Luthor's evil plans while both of my arms were broken. I was a member of my local high school chess club. One time I had the amazing opportunity to play as Darth Vader in Star Wars: Episode IV.

     If I was accepted into this primitive and low-standard college I can guarantee that by the end of the first semester I will have won all the awards possible, have 101% in each class and received every scholarship that is available. Once I have received my college diploma, one of my many goals in life is to finally achieve world peace by becoming the leader of every country in the world, start the construction of a luxury 5-star hotel on Mars and fight Mr. Van Camp.

     I have accomplished all these things, however, I still haven't done one thing: having gone to college.